Schema Therapy in Newmarket

People settle in Newmarket for all kinds of reasons: a house with a yard, the schools, being closer to family, a slower rhythm than the city. Whatever brought you, a quieter life has a way of changing what you notice. The evenings are longer and the house is stiller, and feelings that used to be drowned out by a packed schedule can start arriving in full: a loneliness that does not match how many people are around you, a flatness after getting what you worked for, a harsh inner voice that grows louder the moment there is nothing to do.

Schema therapy has a language for that. Emotional deprivation, the early sense that your feelings would not really be met, can hide for years behind a busy life and surface when things finally slow down. So can unrelenting standards, which find something new to demand as soon as the old demands ease, or self-sacrifice, which turns a family-centred life into one where everyone's needs are met except yours. These patterns, called schemas, formed early and for good reasons. They are not flaws in your character, but they keep shaping how safe, close and worthwhile you feel.

In daily life they show up in very ordinary moments: the resentment after another weekend spent driving everyone else to their activities, the unease when a partner is content with a quiet night in, the urge to fill every free hour with renovations or overtime so there is no time left to feel. Noticing them is not the same as changing them, which is where the method comes in.

For others, the trigger is closeness rather than quiet. Moving to Newmarket to be nearer parents or in-laws can quietly reactivate old roles: the dutiful child, the peacemaker, the one who never says no. Schema therapy would call some of that subjugation or self-sacrifice, and it tends to show up as resentment you feel guilty for having. Naming the pattern makes it possible to stay close to family without disappearing inside the old script.

Ghazal Sheikhtaheri, a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying), makes schema therapy the foundation of her work rather than an occasional technique. With deprivation in particular, much of the change happens inside the therapy relationship itself: slowly learning what it feels like to have a need noticed and answered, then carrying that into your home and relationships. Her compassionate re-parenting approach pairs that relational steadiness with experiential techniques, so the work reaches feeling as well as insight.

Sessions are weekly, 60 minutes and fully online, so the stillness of your own home becomes part of the work rather than something you leave behind for a waiting room. They are available in English or Farsi, for people anywhere in Newmarket and across Ontario.